Maybe you already know, but if you don't I'll say it again. I was a signing author at Barnes and Nobel Bookstore! The excitement of it all.
Early December, my publisher set up a book signing for me; and I was ecstatic, elated, exuberant. A dream long dreamt. I had the perfect outfit, I was rocking a decent hair day, and I was sick as a dog. Turns out, it was Covid, but that's not the point of the blog, so I'll move on. Anyway, I had just set up--picture books in front of me on a table, my book banner behind me, a big cheesy smile on my face as I greet people walking into the store from Jordan Creek Mall.
As glamorous as all that sounds, it was awkward and uncomfortable. At least most of the people in the store actually liked reading and may have been interested in buying a book; however, they're not exactly welcoming an over-enthusiastic woman asking them "if they like historical fiction." Therefore, I was relieved when an "older" (he had grey hair) gentleman picked up my book cards. He looked friendly and interested, and it broke the awkward vibe of greeting strangers while they did their best to ignore me. The gentleman (I'll now refer to him as Bob) started to talk to me about my books. I smell a sale coming, I think to myself. Bob goes from asking about my books to telling me a little about himself. He was mall walking when he popped into the bookstore.
Bob goes from where he was originally from (I just visited that library, I say to Bob) to what he used to do for a living, to other small talk. I'm still OK with Bob's attentions because there isn't anyone else stopping by my table. OK, at this point, maybe you know where this is heading, but I definitely didn't. Bob then switches to his divorce. He's now an unattached man. Something smells fishy, I think to myself. And as he continues, the lightbulb (sorry for the use of a cliche here) goes on. HE'S HITTING ON ME!
NO WAY! He's going to ask me for a coffee, I realize. I switch topics quickly and throw in "my husband and I..." Bob's face falls. So, I was right! Fortunately, someone was interested in my books, which conveniently pushed me into a different conversation, leaving Bob standing off to the side.
And, no, he didn't buy a book.